[THIS GOES IN THE SCENE WHERE MARY AND KATY ARE TOYING WITH THE ANTS; PAGE 196.]

Although Mary didn't realize it, today was the twelfth anniversary of the very first time she and Bob made love.

After ten or twelve dates Mary had started to wonder if Bob was ever going to try to bed her or if she was going to have to make the first move herself. As evidenced by the dry-hump-and- grope festival they had enjoyed on their last date, she knew Bob wanted her, but he was apparently playing the gentleman and nobody was going to get laid at that rate.

God knows Mary was horny for him and she thought she had given some pretty clear signals. On one recent date, while browsing at a book store, Mary showed Bob a page from a coffee-table version of the Kama Sutra and asked what he thought about it. (Bob looked up from the Eyewitness Guide on Insects and said, "Lord, I'd snap my groin if I tried that." He then showed her a photo of a Giant Waterbug (Lethocerus grandis) and explained how they are imported into California to give a particular flavor to certain Chinese dishes.)

Later that night Mary casually mentioned she had recently switched to a new birth control prescription, to which Bob nervously replied he didn't realize there were different kinds. And while kissing goodnight, Mary had finally resorted to putting Bob's hand on her breast when Bob apparently couldn't work up the nerve to do it himself.

Short of pulling down her pants, and yelling, "Ride 'em cowboy!" or "Come and get it!" she felt she was making it pretty clear that the door was open.

So when Bob finally invited Mary to his place for dinner, no mention of a movie afterwards, just over to his house for dinner, Mary knew the time had come.

As Mary approached the small apartment near the campus, she heard a loud electronic beeping noise coming from inside. Nevertheless, she knocked.

When Bob opened the door thick white smoke poured out. "Sorry. I just burned the appetizers. C'mon in and fan the smoke alarm, will you?"

Mary was surprised to find the entire apartment given over to his bugs. Everywhere she looked there were mayonnaise jars with air holes punched in their tops. Several dozen jars were lined up on one table top, looking like a glass housing project for insects.

This was the first time she had seen this many insects in one place and she was fascinated and repulsed at the same time. There was an odd, not altogether unpleasant, smell, but then most apartments of college-age guys had some variation on this.

She wondered if Bob had eaten all the mayonnaise from all the jars. She didn't know what was creepier, all the bugs or all the missing mayo. She wondered what he was serving for dinner.

AFTER DINNER

Mary was admiring several jars filled with Red-humped Appleworm Caterpillars (Schizura concinna), easily the most beatiful caterpillars she had ever seen. [DESCRIBE] Bob tells her something about them then they move on to look at some other insects.

These insects (perhaps the ten lined beetles) are mounted and doing it. Bob acts embarassed which Mary thinks is pretty funny.

They leaned in to look closer. Someone touched the other and soon, they were clearing space on the table top and buttons were unbuttoning.

During the course of the event, Bob felt a sensation in a place where no woman has ever touched him. He couldn't believe it. He waited all this time (a couple of months anyway) before he tried to screw this woman and it turns out that she's not only willing, but she turned out to be what Bob considered rather experimental in her approach. God, whatever she was doing felt unbelievable, what was she using, her fingernails?

What Bob was unaware of was the Horned Fungus Beetle which was clawing and pinching its way into the dark reaches of his ass.

While Mary was bent over admiring the caterpillars, Bob pulled a big Horned Fungus Beetle (Bolitotherus cornutus) out of it's jar and held it out to Mary. [DESCRIBE IT] When Mary saw the beetle, she screamed and in her recoil, knocked over several of the jars filled with Red-humped Appleworm Caterpillars. They were much faster than she expected. Little streaks of yellow and white and their little red butts like so many tail lights as they scurried under the furniture.

They spent a frantic half hour [maybe do the scene instead of having the narrator tell us about it] before finally capturing the creature. They were exhausted and excited and they made love while the crickets made their noises. Afterwards, Bob convinced Mary to let the horned fungus beetle crawl around on her arm, and on her tits, etc. Which excited them again, so they did it again.

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